27 april again....

One year passed since the darkest night of my life. .. It was a long year though and very painful at times.... I remember each and every moment of this year when I just remembered you like everything.  You know today I again cried like hell. Couldn't go to hospital,  couldn't do anything the whole day....
I just spent the whole day wondering around alone at places once you were with me.
U know I regret sometimes that why I fought with you after knowing the reality... I should have quit on everything the moment I came tk know about your lie but it was the intense love which didn't let me do that...
My love didn't allowed me to give up on you.. and still you know today I am just thinking about you and your love.
You must be thinking how Chipko I am that am not ready to quit on you... but you k ow I had quit on you.  I knew you are not coming back ever. I know you are happy with your life and people in it....
I was never a part of your life. I was just a no one whom you use to talk...I was just a girl... just an ordinary girl you know.
Some days back I went into some resturant and I saw you there... That time my intense wish was that I can keep watching you but you left from there.
I dont know how to write my feelings, how to tell myself what I felt for you and still feeling.
I wish I could let you knoe these feelings ever... I wish you came across this accidentally and feel that its only for you... I wish you ever regret of losing me....
I just wanted to tell you that I love you like everything. .. and I just loved you... ONLH YOU....
I know the level of misunderstandings you had about me whatever wrong and pathetic I did in passing months...That was all revenge in my mind. I wanted to destroy your family and you but look I couldn't do. Again LOVE for you weighs up then HATE for whatever you did to me.
Life is so cruel J*** it took you from me, it snatched all my happinwss and joys from me. It gave me may things but in return took you from me.  You know I begged many times for you... I never know what wrong was with this love....
But if I say that it was not actually love then why still I can't forget you.. why still I just think about you and you. Why I couldn't marry inspite of pressure from family...
How this love can be a LIE for which am ready to sacrifice my everything...
I wish this date to come again in any coming year and you are with me and I will just forget that something very bad had happened that day....
I STILL JUST WANT YOU WITH ME.. COME BACK YAR...