And here it comes the first day of Ramadan Kareem... Its called the month of blessings... A month of forgiveness and acceptance of prayers... 
I remember from my childhood that I was fond of fasting in Ramadan and despite of mama's opposition I always use to fast... and I remember I use to pray at time of AFTAR cause once B-AMMAN told me that time ALLAH listen everything.... 
I remember prayers of my childhood.. A bit secret.. :) But these were much better than the ones I have now... There was no materialism, no selfishness... But today I am selfish about my wishes... 
I want ALAH to listen my every prayer and fulfil it thats why I offer prayers and do fast.. And now I got it why my prayers were being rejected because I was not right in them.. I was just being attracted to my LORD cause of my needs and how he can listen my everything.. 
Really am changed a lot... 
Last two months were most probably the hardest time of my life and I use to pray to ALLAH all the time but I was not getting, why my prayers are not being accepted...
Now I came to know. what was the reason... 
Reason was I was solely concerned to my desires, my wishes...I was not even considering what ALLAH wants to do with me.. and that was the reason he didn't listen to me.. He didn't gave me any attention.. 
I always wanted to be happy in what ALLAH wants for me.. and that was first time I was too much stubborn.. I was recalcitrating on only one person that I want him knowing that he was not my right choice... 
I know that was a silly mistake..  I know I made my LORD unhappy cause of these wrong doings... I know I was wrong in all these things.. 
The things, people not made for us, how they could be ours.. 
Now I understand this fact that you were not mine... you were never meant to bethe one whom I should love with my whole heart.. You were never capable of being truely loved by me but despite of it I did... 
And same happened.. you proved me wrong in everything... 
Somebody told me yesterday that if I place my heart in GOD's hands, he will place my heart in the hands of a worthy person. 
Its RAMADAN KAREEM again.. The most valued time period of year.. I want to be sorry to ALLAH for my each and every mistake I made in last year.. I want to make ALLAH happy.. I want him to forgive my all sins.. 
I wish I could make upto everything HE wants me.. I wish I could be the same in everything I was one year ago... 
YA ALLAH bless me with your forgiveness.. AMEEN.. 

My life was complete. But now it's not. I lost it all, because I fought. He made me alive. Now I am dead. I'm laying here. Crying in my bed. Life is worthless. Why should I try? All I want to do is lay here and die. It had only been a few weeks but that is all I need. To get a last chance. Before he leaves. One last chance to turn it around. Hoping he won't turn me down. All I want to do is hold him tight and make his dreams come true tonight. That once and for all I can make him happy. 
Instead of screaming, yelling making life crappy. I'm sorry for what I have done. This is coming from my heart
I'm just asking for a brand new start. For you are my LIFE. Without you I am nothing. So give it one last chance and I will make it into something.
I love you too much. I can't let you go. So look into my eyes and say I love you too....
Please come back before its too late.. I don't want to move on you.. I always want to be your's and only your's.... COME BACK... Give me last chance to say you my love again.. 

Some days ago one of my friend asked me... what I call "love".. 
and I was speechless.. I was not getting what answer I should give her..  But then I sat and thought about it.. And I came to know difference between love and like.. 
Like is only knowing the best side of someone and liking him for it but LOve... Its a different thing you know... Its knowing the worst side of someone but still loving him with all heart... If I say that it was a temporary liking for you then I am really wrong in this because am loving you still inspite of your all wrong doings. 
You know I never thought of your worst side from the day you left. I am just thinking the best side of you. I just use to think about the crazy love you did to me. Really that was crazy.. I believe you loved me and you loved me like am everything to you but one day everything got changed.. you changed.... :-(

Some people say that if there is no struggle in life there is no progress in life. Before you can see the light you have to deal with darkness and that's the reality. 
Once the path of hope is chosen everything is possible. Faith and hope both are the necessary things to uphill in mountain of life. 
And if come to the struggle, its not a easy task.  Its a long way to go. And before putting step into practical life no one ever told me that life would be this hard. But i have faith that if GOD bring me to it, he will definitely bring me through it. 
Sooooo struggle, struggle and struggle... that's my life..  

Yesterday was the most hectic day I ever spend in life. It was 24 hour emergency call done first time.. It was too much bothering as I never did much hectic work ever. 

And the most amazing thing which happened was.. you were out of my mind unintentionally... I was not remembering you as I use to do in every step. I was realizing that there are many other things too which can make me happy... 

When I saw a new born baby in my hands, and smile at face of her mother while listening his cry and the moment when I saw a thanking expression in eyes of that women really that was of billion worth.. I thanked to ALLAH that he made me the reason of happiness for someone.. 

When I was taking care of a suffering woman regularly while standing along her bed, I saw she was thinking that I will be the one who will get her out of this situation. Although I know ALLAH's will is behind everything. But that thing made me happy a lot that am not the one who made people suffer but I'll be the one who will get them out of their sufferings. 

While on operation table, in hands of treating peoples, I saw a fear in that woman's eyes. I couldn't be able to name it. But I saw a glimpse of happiness when I just talked to her softly. When I just asked her that everything will be fine. Emotions of being grateful to me in her eyes were making me to thank to ALLAH who made me capable of it. 

While running to save a women, my feet were aching, I was hell tired but I was thinking that its my responsibility and everyone can't do it so I should do it as much efficiently as I can do. And this gave me new spirit. But actual thing was the happiness which I was really feeling from core of my heart. 

At 6:00 am when I got out of OT while assisting a surgery of about 1 and half hour, I saw a mother standing at door of operation theatre. she came to me and said that she is very happy for me and ALLAH will bless me for everything. I remember the tears in eyes of that lady but they were of happiness.  I just asked her that pray for me that ALLAH became happy with me too. 

These were the moments of worth I cant make any estimate. And then I realize that I was wrong that without you nothing can make me happy. I am still the same in one thing although everything is changed in me and that is still today HELPING others make me happy more than anything. 

 

Without you am not happy but I have to be happy cause may be then I can become reason of happiness for others and in the end ALLAH became happy with me. And this will be the last thing I will ever want from life that I spend my life in the desire of making my maker happy with me. 

ye tum se kis ne keh diya akhir key........
kisi returant ke neem tareek goshey main
beth kar madham sargoshion main
muskuratey labon se baat karna
aur ice cream ke cup main chamach hilatey huey
khwhsih-e-dil ko zuban pe le ana
muhabbat hai?
ye tumhey kis ne keh dia akhir key........

jaiez -o-najaiez ke falsafey ka assa thamey
ikhlakiyat ki apni kasoti banaey
jo azhad-o-behad ki diwarr sajaey
bila dastak berooh makan-e-jisim main darr ana
muhabbat hai?

bulkeh muhabbat tu.......
durr daraz ke kisi wehsihi qabiley main
basney wali koi chalak devi hai
jo tumhari aana ko apne tilisem se
yun qaeid karti hai
keh tum apna sara zaum bhool jatey ho
muhabbat munn ka sucha soda hai
jisey bazar main becha nahi kartey
muhabbat aik nazuk si larki hai
jisey rolaya nahi kartey
muhabbat ko yun zaya nahi kartey......

Relationship are like glass, sometimes it's better to leave pieces broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together. 

Relationships are like birds,if you hold tightly they die. If you hold loosely they fly. But if you hold with care, they remain with you forever. 

Relationships are like flowers, you have to keep watering them or they will die. 

Relationships are like drug. They either kill you or give you the best feeling of your life. 

Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you are not on the same page. 

Relationships are not just about the good times you share, its also about the obstacles you go through together and the fact that you still say " I love you " in the end. 

Relationships are not like Twitter and Facebook, you just can't log in and log out whenever you want. 

Relationships are harder now because conversation become texting, arguments become phone calls and feeling become status updates. 

Relationships are about trust, if you have to play detective then it's time to move on. 

Some relationships are like TOM and JERRY. They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other but can't live without each other. 

The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in, the ones that swept you off your feet and challenges every view you've ever had.